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cdxxblazeit:

also

(via oral-fail)

" …and you drink a little too much and try a little too hard. And you go home to a cold bed and think, ‘That was fine’. And your life is a long line of fine. "

ex0skeletal:

Fun shark attack facts:

  • In 1996, toilets injured 43,000 Americans. Sharks injured 13.
  • In 1996, 2,600 Americans were injured by room fresheners. Sharks injured 13.
  • In 1996, buckets and pails injured almost 11,000 Americans. Sharks injured 13.
  • For every human killed by a shark, humans kill approximately two million sharks.

Conclusions:

  1. Humans are assholes.
  2. Sharks are not assholes.
  3. Apparently everyone in 1996 lived in a real-life infomercial.

(via kylah-kakes)

broken-gaydar:

starrygraveyard:

andr3wdost:

nathanieljosephruess:

herfunnyvideos:

lockedinabirdcage:

GUYS I JUST REALIZED WHY PAPER BEATS ROCK OH MY GOD

PAPER SYMBOLIZES WORDS WHICH SYMBOLIZES BRAINS

AND ROCK SYMBOLIZES BRAWN.

BRAINS OVER BRAWN.

MIND OVER MATTER.

PAPER OVER ROCK.

You clever little shit.

then what the fuck does scissors mean

lesbians

what

image

(via que-luz)

can-u-not-my-wayward-son:

suspnd:

suspnd:

suspnd:

my best friend just realized 30 minutes before her curfew that she’s an hour away from home in the most dangerous part of the city alone with the buses no longer running so she calls the police to take her home i cant stop laughing

update the cop that came to pick her up is a hot 20 year old guy thats flirting with her and now im not laughing anymore

SHE FUCKING HOOKED UP WITH THE COP

fuck the police

(via restless-confusion)

rawr0609:

lilfagbitch:

It’s actually really scary to me how guys have no problem hitting on/harassing girls when girls are alone but will leave them alone when they see them with their significant other. Because they respect you more as another mans property than they respect you as a human.

Unless your significant other is a girl. Then they try to hit on both of us :(

(via restless-confusion)